Meghan Markle’s journey within the British royal family has been anything but conventional.
According to Tom Quinn’s upcoming book, Yes Ma’am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants, Meghan struggled with the strict hierarchy of the monarchy, often clashing with royal traditions and expectations.
Meghan Markle’s Struggles with Royal Rules
Sources close to the Duchess reveal that Meghan “really disliked the hierarchy” and found many royal protocols unnecessary, believing they existed solely to maintain the status of senior royals.
A former team member shared that she thought the royals “behaved like babies,” particularly when minor privileges caused internal rivalries.
Her ambition extended beyond royal duties. Meghan was reportedly determined to “finish Princess Diana’s work,” aspiring to become a global advocate for the marginalized—but on her own terms and schedule.
Buckingham Palace grew increasingly uneasy with her desire to operate outside the traditional royal framework, fearing she might overshadow established figures like Princess Anne, Prince Charles, and even Queen Elizabeth II.
Despite Prince Harry’s reputation as “one of the nicest royals to work for,” insiders noted he was often “muddled,” relying heavily on staff.
His unwavering support for Meghan sometimes put him at odds with royal aides, who allegedly urged him to encourage Meghan to conform to royal protocols.
Meghan’s modern approach won over some junior staff, who admired her drive to challenge the status quo. However, her confidence often clashed with the “old guard” at the palace, described as resistant to change and subtly snobbish.
This cultural disconnect was evident during early meetings where Meghan appeared eager to lead rather than learn, reflecting her proactive, hands-on style.
Living in Nottingham Cottage further strained relations. Meghan reportedly viewed the modest residence as a slight against Harry, not understanding that royals typically place little importance on material possessions.
She also felt restricted by royal protocols, such as having to coordinate her schedule to avoid overlapping with senior royals.
Her dynamic with staff was complex. While she appreciated the convenience of domestic help, she also struggled with the formality of such relationships, swinging between overly friendly and frustrated when expectations weren’t met promptly. This duality contributed to her nickname within palace circles: “the Duchess of Difficult.”
Nevertheless, some insiders admired her resilience. “She really is a fighter,” one former staffer acknowledged, emphasizing her determination to challenge outdated norms.